12 months ago this weekend my father passed away. It was not something that was sudden as he has had serious health problems for most of my life but the actual timing of it was unexpected. I guess when you have a parent that has serious health problems you get used to it and almost numb to hospital trips, pills tests and so forth .. but this last time when he was ill … it is crazy, I can’t tell you why but I knew it was different. I remember talking to Mum on the phone as Dad had been admitted into the small hospital close to home. I knew that we had to go and see him … so we packed up the kids and went for a drive. I am so glad that we did as it was the last time that we saw him with him being conscious … the last time we spoke to him. He was groggy and alot worse than when I had been speaking to him on the phone a few days earlier. I am so glad that we went to visit. He saw the kids and we had a nice visit. That night be took a turn for the worse and the next time I saw him he was in larger regional hospital in Intensive Care. He never regained consciousness and he never left.
While I know that we are very lucky to have had him for the amount of time that we did. His doctors were amazing, particularly his GP. I don’t know how she managed to juggle the differing and sometimes competing health issues between herself and his extensive “medical team” (as he liked to call it). And I think it is important to be grateful for the time that we did have. He could have died when in 1986 when had his first heart attack. Instead he lasted until 2010. Amazing.
However although I am very grateful, I am still sad that he has gone. I miss
talking arguing with him .. particularly on the phone when I was older. It is funny it is not so much the big things that make me miss him the most .. it is the small … like yesterday I saw a film that I know that he would have liked and I would have loved to talk about it with him .. or maybe tried a food that he would have liked and would have liked to suggest it to him.The thing that hurts the most is my kids were so little when he died and it is sad that they will not remember him. I have some lovely photos of him with them but they were just so little.
So today I send a big hug to everyone that has lost a parent. No matter how old or young you are. And to Dad .. I love and miss you.